A Therapist's 3 Tips To Get Through Quarantine

Just like everyone else, I’m also stuck in quarantine (well, self-inflicted really) and have been for what feels like an eternity (but in reality has been one month). And just like everyone else, I’m also finding it extremely challenging to work from home, have my life at home, and try to take care of myself. Yes, even therapists have difficulties sometimes with their self care and well being.

While I may not have been specifically trained on a pandemic, I have been trained on depression, anxiety, loneliness and social isolation. These are common feelings that so many of us are dealing with right now and all need to work through. While the triggers are different, the treatment and working through these emotions are essentially the same. Here are a few tips from an actual mental health professional to help you cope with your quarantine.

1. Don’t learn a new skill (if you don’t want to).

I’m sure we’re all seeing it — Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, everywhere online we’re seeing things like: “Use this time to get practice a hobby!” “Use this time to learn a new language!” “Use quarantine to get fit!” so on and so forth. When you’re bombarded with these types of messages, you begin to believe this is what you have to do, something that everyone else is doing, and if you don’t do these things then you somehow “fail” quarantine. But, let’s be honest here, not all of us have the energy, motivation, or even money to do some of these “quarantine self help/better self” things.

Even if it is a day of not leaving bed, binging shows or movies, eating crappy food, or if it’s doing yoga or going for a walk, allow yourself the space to heal.

During this time of uncertainty, it is not uncommon to feel sad, scared, lost, or anxious. And with those feelings, it is common to feel a lack of energy or motivation, sometimes it just feels easier to stay in bed all day, binge watching Community or Tiger King on Netflix (come on, it can’t just be me!). And that is totally okay! It’s totally okay to allow yourself those moments of rest, to allow yourself to feel your emotions — instead of feeling guilty for not learning Spanish in a week.

In fact, allowing yourself to feel these emotions and giving yourself the space to recharge and regroup is a necessity. Often in therapy, I work on helping clients allow themselves space and forgive themselves for needing space to express their emotions and take time to heal in whatever way they find fit (of course with healthy mechanisms).

So, even if it is a day of not leaving bed, binging shows or movies, eating crappy food, or if it’s doing yoga or going for a walk, allow yourself the space to heal. And, please, forgive yourself for taking time for yourself. Without that space, you can begin to spiral even more and face the possibility of doing serious harm both mentally and even physically.

2. Stay social in social distancing.

The one thing that really sucks about social distancing is feeling completely isolated from loved ones. It’s no longer possible to meet a friend for coffee or a drink after work; no longer possible to go visit your parents or drop by your grandparents’ home. So many things are now just completely off the table, making feeling connected to those you love nearly impossible. When you feel a lack of social connection, you may begin to experience a lack of social support causing you to feel alone in your situation.

Sure, connecting online isn’t always nice, sometimes the wifi connection is awful and the screen freezes, and sometimes it doesn’t feel as genuine as it would if you were sitting in the same room together, but these apps were created to fabricate the same social interactions you would have in person.

Now, fortunately for me (in a way), I’ve been living abroad for several years now, so I have gotten used to not being able to see my family and depending on social media or digital forms of connection. But, I also see that so many people are not used to this and it’s incredibly difficult to adjust. So, what do we do to feel connected to those we love when we can be near?

We create a social space in social distancing — using apps like WhatsApp, FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, or House Party (just to name a few) to call and video with the people you love, I mean, the amount of apps you can use for this purpose is endless!

Most of these offer group calls with almost no limit to the amount of people you can add — Zoom birthday party? No problem! Want to play games with friends but can’t seem to do it through just a normal call? Download something like House Party and you and your loved ones can play games all night! (non-sponsored, btw).

Sure, connecting online isn’t always nice, sometimes the wifi connection is awful and the screen freezes, and sometimes it doesn’t feel as genuine as it would if you were sitting in the same room together, but these apps were created to fabricate the same social interactions you would have in person. These online meet ups may not hit the same, but it’s a fantastic tool to fight off loneliness, maintain your social support circle, and have a bit of fun in a bleak time.

Try to make it a point to call or text the ones you love often, set aside days and times to “meet up” with friends. Even if you’re an introvert, we cannot deny that we are social creatures, we all need a little connection sometimes.

3. You are not alone.

Arguably, the most difficult task is knowing when to ask for some help. Every time a new client reaches out to me, one of the first things I do is commend them for reaching out to a therapist, that first extension is often the hardest.

It becomes incredibly easy to believe in and give into the “I can do it on my own” culture. I hear it all the time from people in my life, but these thoughts can really undermine all the good that can come from asking for a little bit of help or support from others.

Sometimes these emotions and thoughts are too difficult to handle on our own, sometimes it doesn’t matter how many episodes of Community you watch, the pain or discomfort is still there.

Maybe you don’t want to reach out to a therapist, but maybe you do still need a bit of help. There is nothing wrong with telling someone close to you “hey, I’m struggling a bit here and I need someone to talk to.” Sometimes these emotions and thoughts are too difficult to handle on our own, sometimes it doesn’t matter how many episodes of Community you watch, the pain or discomfort is still there.

Remember, asking for help is never a sign a weakness. On the contrary, I believe asking for help is the strongest thing you can do. In a time where everyone is giving their tips for “Quarantine Sanity”, I found it necessary to add a mental health professional’s tips in the mix.

Stay safe out there everyone.

Comment below what you’re doing to stay sane during this time! Share on your timeline to provide a bit of help to your friends! Reach out to me if you have any questions or need someone to talk to: info.therapywitholivia@gmail.com