Your New Year's Resolutions: A therapist's tips on reaching your resolutions for 2022
It’s that time of year again when we’re all romanticising and fantasising what the next year will do for us or who we will be. Will we finally understand cryptocurrency and retire early? Will we finally crack the code of losing weight and become the ‘perfect size’? Will we suddenly change our whole lives to be the version of perfection and productive that we see online? Or, will it just be enough to aim to be happy, live in the moment, and make the small changes necessary to live a more fulfilling life?
I, just like so many out there, always end my year with setting my New Year’s Resolutions for the next year. And I, just like so many out there, seem to never reach the resolutions I’ve set for myself; at least not until last year when I started thinking about why my resolutions never seem to work out. Of course I’m still not perfect and I still didn’t reach all of my goals for 2021, so how can we all have more successful resolutions for 2022?
Here are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned throughout the past year [and more] on how to create goals and resolutions that you’ll actually stick to. And yes, these are tips that I use in my practice as well when creating plans with clients.
Evaluate where you are now and where you want to be.
Ask yourself, what is the ideal version of myself? What are the habits, relationships, career journey, traits that my ideal self has? After asking yourself this and making a list [or a mind map or drawing or whatever works best for you], step away from it for a day, if possible, and revisit it later. When you look at it again, are you satisfied with what you’ve written down? Are all those things still true to what you would like to see for yourself? If so, great! If not, reevaluate and work on it some more.
Create steps to get to where you want to be. And use those steps as your resolutions.
So, you’ve written your list of what the ideal version of yourself looks like. Great! But now what? Use this list as a guide when creating your resolutions. For example, if the ideal version of yourself is healthy, what does healthy look like for you? Maybe that’s taking your vitamins daily; working out 3 times a week; buying more produce, etc. Those are things you can use for your resolutions!
With each resolution, consider the necessary steps it would take to make them more manageable and reachable.
When you’re looking at your resolutions, you may feel a bit overwhelmed — sometimes the things you want to change or better feel too big to accomplish, leaving you unsure of where to even start. The best thing to do is break it down, make it as small as possible.
For example, maybe you have a resolution to save a certain amount of money by the end of the year. That number may feel daunting and leaving you thinking ‘how the hell am I going to see all that money?’ So, let’s break down that goal. Maybe you start with looking through your finances over the past two or three months [maybe not your finances over the holidays because, let’s be real, we all spend more than we usually do']; with that information, maybe you then create a budget [how much money you make in a month, how much all of your bills cost, how much you spend on groceries, etc]. With that determined, you can then decide how much you would want to save per month in order to reach your goal. This leaves the goal of saving a certain amount of money by the end of the year a bit less overwhelming — you know exactly how much money you have each month, where your money goes, and a savings goal per month.
Don’t overdo it with the amount of resolutions.
It’s easy to get excited about resolutions and start writing a huge list of all the things you want to accomplish in the next year, but think about the phrase ‘Less is More.’ This is definitely true for resolutions. Just like looking at large resolutions can be overwhelming, looking at a list of a dozen or more resolutions can also be overwhelming, so overwhelming that it can freeze you, or just leave you disappointed in the end. Instead, try focusing on the top 5 things [or less] that you would want to accomplish in the new year. This allows you the chance to focus and put all your energy into completing a smaller list of tasks, and can even encourage you to accomplish more once they’re all finished!
Consider what are short term and long term goals.
Not all resolutions are things that will take the whole year or things that will be done within the first month or two of the year. It’s important to separate what is short term and what is long term when writing out your resolutions to better help you get a full picture of everything you’re hoping to do or change during the year. And try tackling the short term goals first — it could just help you with the momentum to tackle those long term goals!
Remember: it takes, on average, about 66 days to create a habit.
There’s a lot of research out there about creating habits and how long it can take before it’s just a part of who you are. And, let’s be real, so many resolutions involve creating new habits or routines. Keep in mind that it can take 2 months or more for a new habit to be formed, so be patient with yourself while you have to force yourself to do whatever it is. And if you want more information on creating routines, check out this post.
Reevaluate and reflect on your resolutions a few months in.
At the beginning of the year, you may be so excited to kick start your resolutions and feel motivated to continue working on those goals. But, if you’re anything like me, you may lose that momentum as the year continues on. Whether that’s because of life in general getting in the way or realising your goals aren’t actually something you want after all, it’s important to stop and reevaluate what you’re doing and why. This can help you reground yourself and regain excitement for your goals, or it could show you that maybe that goal needs to be let go in order to allow you to focus on things that are more important to you.
Always, always, always remember: Shit happens.
Yes, sometimes shit happens. And sometimes when shit happens, we can’t focus on our goals anymore but have to focus on our own wellbeing and making it through the day. That is so okay. We’re not perfect beings, we can’t always chug through and keep working towards our goals when life happening around us needs more attention. And in these moments, it’s crucial to focus on self-forgiveness and self-compassion. You can always get back on track afterwards.
With the new year comes new opportunities to make changes that you’ve been wanting to make the year before. And while there’s nothing wrong with writing resolutions [hell, even I do it!], it’s important to remember to set yourself up for success for the new year, not for disappointment.
Do you make a list of resolutions for the new year? What are some of your resolutions? Let us know in the comments!
